Thora Birch: The Witch is Back (And She Might Punch You)
She just threatened to knock out a fan on Sunset Blvd and is starring in two of the year's darkest hits. Thora Birch isn't just trending; she's settling scores with a Hollywood that tried to bury her.
You saw the video, right? The one looping on TMZ this morning where the Ghost World icon tells an aggressive autograph seeker exactly where he can stick his Sharpie. "I'll f***ing knock you out," she snarls. No PR apology, no trembling lip. Just pure, unfiltered Enid Coleslaw energy.
It’s January 12, 2026, and Thora Birch is having a better Monday than you.
While the tabloids obsess over her sidewalk brawl, the industry is whispering about something else entirely: her surgical strike on the current cultural moment. Tonight, she makes her debut in season two of AMC's Mayfair Witches as Gifford Mayfair, a tarot-reading bohemian who feels suspiciously like a meta-commentary on her own career. And just three days ago, she walked the red carpet for Kristen Stewart’s directorial debut, The Chronology of Water.
Two major projects. One viral street fight. The message is clear: The exile is over.
"I pissed a lot of people off over a long period of time... People wanted me to be not fine. A lot of it was b*llshit." — Thora Birch (The Guardian)
The "Lost" Years (A.K.A. The Dadager Era)
For the Gen Z kids discovering her on TikTok today, Thora is just that cool, grumpy girl from Hocus Pocus. But for those of us who remember the early 2000s, her disappearance wasn't a mystery. It was a blacklist.
Let's be real (since we're all friends here). You don't go from BAFTA nominations for American Beauty to starring in C-list horror flicks because you lost your talent. You do it because Hollywood decided you—or your baggage—were too heavy to carry.
👀 Why was she actually blacklisted?
The industry open secret? Her father and manager, Jack Birch. Stories from sets in the late 2000s are legendary. We're talking about alleged physical threats to co-stars (an incident during an off-Broadway Dracula revival got her fired) and a refusal to play the "smiling ingénue" game. Thora stood by him, and the studios simply stopped calling. It wasn't a burnout; it was a blockade.
The Dark Renaissance
What’s fascinating about this 2026 comeback is that she’s not asking for permission. She hasn't returned as the "mom" in a Disney sitcom. She’s working with Kristen Stewart—another actress who famously flipped the bird to stardom expectations—in a gritty, R-rated memoir adaptation. In Mayfair Witches, she’s tapping into that darker, witchy ancestry that made her famous, but with a weary, adult edge.
She looks different. Harder. (Good).
The autograph hunter she threatened today learned what casting directors are finally realizing: Thora Birch doesn't care if you like her. She just demands you watch her. And honestly? After twenty years of polished, media-trained robots, a star who threatens to throw hands on a Monday morning feels... refreshingly human.
Welcome back, Thora. Don't hit us.