Lakers vs Celtics: A Billion-Dollar Corpse Painted in Gold?

You can almost hear the marketing executives hyperventilating from here. It’s February 2026, and the NBA machine is once again demanding we genuflect at the altar of "The Rivalry." Lakers. Celtics. The ghosts of the Garden. The glitz of Hollywood.

Spare me.

I watched the latest instalment of this so-called historic feud yesterday (Feb 22), and let’s be honest: what we’re watching isn’t a rivalry. It’s a content vertical. The genuine hatred that once fuelled Kevin McHale to clothesline Kurt Rambis has been replaced by post-game jersey swaps and podcast collaborations. It’s polite. It’s sanitised. It’s about as hostile as a Sunday barbie with the in-laws.

The "Luka" Transplant

Let’s address the elephant in the room (or the Slovenian magician in the gold jersey). The arrival of Luka Dončić to Los Angeles last year was hailed as the saviour of the franchise. And sure, seeing him throw lobs to a 41-year-old LeBron James is aesthetically pleasing. It sells tickets. It moves merchandise in Shanghai and Sydney.

But does Luka hate Boston? diverse? No. He probably just hates the traffic on the 405. When he squares up against Jaylen Brown, there’s no historical baggage, no "I want to end your career" energy. It’s two independent contractors fulfilling a broadcast obligation.

Compare this to the 80s. Larry Bird and Magic Johnson didn’t just want to beat each other; they wanted to dismantle the other’s psyche. Today, players share agents and summer holidays. The hostility is manufactured, pasted onto the schedule like a sponsor’s logo on the parquet floor.

System vs. Cinema

The irony of the current landscape is stark. The Boston Celtics, even with Tatum sidelined this season, represent the triumph of a relentless system—cold, efficient, championship-proven. They are the machine.

The Lakers? They are a reality TV show. They are built on the premise that if you throw enough famous people into a room, you win. Sometimes you get a ring (2020); mostly you get drama. The rivalry today isn't East vs. West; it’s Competence vs. Celebrity.

“We used to hate them. Now? We just want to beat them so we can get to the steakhouse earlier.” – Anonymous NBA Scout, 2026.

The Numbers Don't Lie (But They Do Boring)

If you look at the ratings, the league is laughing. The Feb 22 clash likely drew millions. But high viewership doesn't equal relevance—it equals habit. We watch because we are told it matters, not because the outcome changes the axis of the basketball world.

Here is the cold reality of the last two decades:

So, Why Do We Still Care?

Because we are addicts to narrative, even when it's fictional. We want to believe that the ghosts of Red Auerbach and Jerry Buss are still pulling strings. We want to believe that LeBron’s twilight years and Dončić’s prime mean something more than just a first-round exit.

But let’s not kid ourselves. The greatest rivalry in the NBA today isn’t Lakers vs. Celtics. It’s the Players vs. The Regular Season. And right now, the Regular Season is losing.

Until we see a playoff series where blood is spilled (metaphorically, or knowing the 80s, literally), this is just an exhibition game with expensive window dressing. Wake me up in June.